Well, I don't even know what to say...
To start off, why does every bloody song on Pandora have to be some emotional lovey/romantic song that I used to listen to all the time and be reminded of my last girlfriend? I mean, what kind of sick joke is that? Not ONLY that, today in my last INT class, what did we go over?!? Relationships and Memories...why not kick a man while he's down. I got my "Time Diary" back from being graded...I got an awesome grade due to my detail and originality.
What is a time diary? It is a record of everything you do...and I mean everything. when you wake up, to how long it takes you to dress to how long you brush your teeth, etc. You get the idea. We did this for a week. And the diary showed several things, most aren't important. But something that the teacher mentioned in her notes, was that she noticed how much I cared for my girlfriend at the time. I mean if you looked through it, I spend like 48 hours with her that week...and that isn't counting times we'd take naps or cuddle or whatever...so add that and you have a lot of time spent. So yeah, that didn't help my day.
Then we talked about Haslow's Hierarchy of Needs and how that affects stress levels and such and then we went over another type of hierarchy...it was the Wellness Wheel...and that has 6 parts; Physical needs, Emotional needs, Spiritual needs, Social needs, Intellectual needs, and Occupational needs. We were asked to shade in these sectors to represent how full or well we are in those areas. Honestly, I wasn't surprised to see my Emotional, Social and Physical needs not as shaded as they should be.
I mean, I've lost my appetite and for whatever, when I lay down, I have trouble taking deep breaths. I just went through a painful breakup and I don't make friends easily and I don't have too many friends so that is how my social aspect is suffering.
Then with the memories part of the class, we went over how we've grown over the past eight weeks and how things have changed from beginning to end...and too much has changed for my personal liking. Then for the Coup de Grace, one of my class mates asked how my girlfriend and I were doing. :-|...how do you answer that without a twang of heart ache? I don't think it's possible...unless the girl is a witch...but mine wasn't...she was the opposite, an angel.
But yeah...that was my afternoon/evening. The day started good...like it always does...and that's because I have school and I have something to help take my mind off life. I get to school early and sit on the patio overlooking the river and this morning we were just listening to Disney songs...that was relaxing and nice...but good things don't last. The day had to continue.
Maybe I just think too much...I mean, I know she said I didn't do anything to cause us to end...but going from being boyfriend/girlfriend to being "Friend Zoned"...one can't help but wonder what happened to cause that?...so maybe I did do/not do something to ruin it...wouldn't be the first time...
It also sucks to have a few things planned...but now they have fallen through. Like we were supposed to go to a baseball game this Sunday...but that isn't happening...and a trip to NYC...that probably won't happen...and if it does, it won't be the same. And this is cool, I made a binder for her because I was supposed to go away for two weeks...and this is what was in it:
I had a letter for everyday I was going to be gone. And in theses letters, they contained a memory that meant a lot to me and it also contained some sentiment from me and a coupon for random stuff. It was sweet and romantic...but that was trashed. All that hard work down the drain.
And for whatever reason, three songs have been repeating themselves in my head..."Broken Vow", "Si Volvieras A Mi", and "Remember When it Rained" all of which are by Josh Groban...you should listen to them...on second thought, don't. You'll be pulled down into my pit of despair...as much as I love company, I wouldn't wish this on you...I'm rambling now...have a good night.
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